To Ronald D. Boire, President and CEO, Brookstone Inc.
I ran over one of your magazines with a lawnmower yesterday. No malice was intended. The wind just walked it into the mower's path. It wasn't purely accidental, though—something I am ashamed to admit. I did have ample time to react, but the youthful anticipation of all that shredded confetti overwhelmed better sense.
A credit to your company: the magazine nearly jammed the blade.
I want to say, it was only afterward that I knew what magazine it was. Lifting the bits of paper from the cut grass, I noticed a large chunk of the cover, the letters—okston—clearly visible.
L. told me that it could only be a Brookstone. D. examined the font and agreed. It was a hard realization.
Important to note: none of us here at 325 N. Summit Street subscribe to your magazine. It was, unfortunately, delivered for a previous tenant, and left on the porch, where the wind cruelly flung it to its fate. Its intended subscriber, a Ms. Allison Kottrise, would want to know its whereabouts, I'm sure. If she happens to leave a forwarding address, I would be more than happy to write and explain the situation, so please feel free to enclose that information in your response.
One last thing: should you, in error, send future issues of your magazine to 325 N. Summit Street, Bowling Green, OH, 43402, L. would be delighted to browse your products. On a shredded corner of page 23, she remarked how ergonomical the UV-C Sanitizing Wand, proven to kill up to 99.9% of certain bacteria on household surfaces, appeared to be. It is exciting to see a normally bulky Ultraviolet sanitizing wand come with such clean lines and a clever hand-grip. Yes, L. is nodding.
Yours,
Jason Woodrow Carnahan
This was very clever. It certainly reminds me of Brautigan's Trout Fishing in America.
ReplyDeleteJase, it's really good. It has the cleverness that I often remark about on FB but it is also working in a longer piece, working very well, best of your clever-humorous works, in my opinion.
ReplyDelete